I love Sun City. I get to play with kids my own age. I still like to see an occasional man without earrings, one who limps like me in the morning and has a keg not a six pack stomach. However, living among our own generation has its drawbacks. You have to stay hip and cool or your grandkids wonât understand you and you wonât understand them. So, here are a few tips for living in Sun City without becoming a dinosaur.
Words To Wipe Out Of Your Conversations
Tape â while we werenât looking, digital replaced tape for video. By 1990, it was pretty much complete. That means people who are 22 and younger probably have never seen or heard of video tape and will see it the way we saw Victrolas when we were kids. (Those were old record players).
Dial â Touch tone phones were introduced in 1962. Thatâs 50 years ago. People under 40 may have never seen a dial phone so when we say we are going to âdial a friend,â they may think we are going to soap them up with Dial Soap (if itâs still for sale).
Pay phones and cigarette machines â These have gone the way of the pay toilet and no one today will know what youâre talking about. They may even call paramedics, thinking you have suffered a medical problem if you use a lot of these phrases in one conversation.
The list could go on, but you get the picture. Ask yourself how long ago terms disappeared before you use them.
Learn to google all questions
Your younger folks will not believe anything you know unless you Google it. Stop using your brain, your memory and books. Always Google as if you know nothing and that will make you look cool. Even if someone asks the time or the weather and you know the answer, to be younger and hipper, be sure to Google before answering.
How to learn fashion sense
Remember that today, you canât wear clothes you like, you have to wear clothes are âin.â Watch reality TV and if you see a lot of men wearing hats with tiny brims, go out and buy one. Remember that people today dress for their friends and not for themselves. And never say, âI have ties older than youâ
Fake an interest in celebrities
Remember to never talk about what we might consider important news eventsâŠthings like war, famine, oil prices, etc. Always talk about celebrities. Has Miley Cyrus lost a lot of weight? Is she cheating on her fiancĂ©? These are the critical questions of today! Never wonder out loud who the heck the Kardashians are and why they are celebrities, just be very interested in what they are doing. Also, be sure you watch the reality shows and really care about who is eliminated and if two reality âstarsâ are dating or not.
Go out and buy stuff you donât need
Be aware of changes and buy stuff you donât need. For example, recessed lighting is out. Go through your house and replace all your recessed lighting with pendant lighting (preferably orange). Throw out your appliances and get stainless steel ones â the ones that show all finger prints. Why? Because HGTV says they are in and everyone agrees. There is no room for individual taste if you want to be cool. Being âdatedâ is the worst insult you can get today.
As you can see, you can sound cool, look cool and be cool if you want. However, as I wrote this I realized I donât care enough to be cool. Probably even the word âcoolâ is out now and I shouldnât have used it. So, until Jamesonâs has special tables for the cool kids and as long as I can have great conversations with other Sun City folks who are as out of touch as me, I think Iâll stay the way I am. I hope you do too.
Tony Delisi and his wife Su live in Sun City neighborhood 29.
