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MY SUN DAY NEWS

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Sun City in Huntley
 

The irresistible call of our inner interior decorators

By My Sunday News

Sometimes women just have to rearrange the furniture. It’s part of our DNA. For me, this can only be accomplished when my husband is going fishing for a weekend.

Del Webb homes thankfully afford the homeowner infinite possibilities as to different room arrangements. As soon as I receive word one way or another that I’m going to have a full weekend to watch HGTV and plan my new room arrangement, I can hardly wait to begin. Exercising caution, however, is the key to a successful outcome.

And that means never beginning the process the minute I see his car pull out of the driveway. Without fail, he’ll have forgotten something and will need to return to retrieve it just as I’ve begun to move a chair.

“Why do you need to move the furniture? I like it just the way it is,” he will inevitably say.

It’s difficult to restrain myself, but waiting out that 45-minute interval until he’s safely heading north on 90 is well worth the effort in the long run.

Now let me say that my husband’s idea of decorating is a Lazy Boy recliner next to a dorm-size refrigerator that also doubles as a side table. The idea that a remote control is the only necessary accessory for any one household remains his decorating philosophy.

The first order of business is to purchase fresh flowers to place in my lovely crystal vase on the breakfast table. If I attempt to do this while my husband is home, within five minutes he’d have had the sports section thrown over it, knocking it over, water spilling onto the floor, and I’d be crying.

All afternoon I stay busy moving sofas, chairs, end and coffee tables, lamps, magazine racks, and pictures. I change out throw pillows, which makes all the difference in the look of the room. Midafternoon, I see we clearly need a side chair in the living room for brightness and additional seating. I know I can’t spend too much money ¬– there’s that angry husband issue. Pier One is having an end-of-season sale and is located conveniently on Randall Road. I’ll just zip over there and take a look.

I strike decorator gold when I find the most adorable floral chair, side table, and matching lamp – all on sale. The Property Brothers have nothing on me, and I’m thrifty too, which should please my husband.

On the way home, I stop at my girlfriend’s house. Her husband is with mine, so I’m certain she’s rearranging her furniture too. She loves the floral chair, so we head back to the store to purchase one for her.

I soon notice that we’re both having some difficulty getting in and out of the van. We take an aspirin and I head home to shower and change so I can pick her up in an hour to go to Al’s Café for dinner.

After we’re comfortably seated at Al’s and have ordered steak (for protein) and extra large chocolate milk shakes (for energy), we discuss how to handle our returning husbands. Hopefully they caught a lot of fish and are in relaxed moods.

Sunday morning I cannot get out of bed. I am sure my back is broken. From a prone position I call my partner in decorating crime and she’s in similar straits. We’ll have to wait until our husbands return to help us get to the bathroom and bring us some food. We both wonder if Edgewater’s Neighbors Helping Neighbors is operational on weekends.

Sunday evening I’m still in bed, a little foggy from the Tylenol-3s with codeine I had to take to dull the excruciating pain in my back that is now shooting down my legs. I hear the fishing tackle box drop noisily to the floor where only a short 24 hours ago a table once stood.

“You did it again, didn’t you?” my husband asks as he stands in the bedroom doorway.

“Chicken noodle or cream of tomato?” he asks casually as if he’s done this a few times before.

“And where’s my Lazy Boy?”





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