Editor’s Note: Due to space constraints in this edition, this Happy Trails needed to be quick and painless and not my usual foot-throbbing, long-distance runs of most editions. Consider it a short walk in big shoes. You’ll see why. Read on.
I’m almost 37 and my feet are becoming pickier than a toddler’s eating habits. Shoe shopping is a Goldilocks state in which I can be found standing in an aisle, slightly adjusting my weight on mismatched shoes, with a look of severe consternation on my face. Picking the right shoe has become a tight balancing act of comfort, style (which I care little about), and budget (which I care a lot about).
My wife agrees with me on all these counts, but comfort, style, and budget run on equal levels in her mind. Additionally, we have a very different idea of what “budget” means.
Case in point: It’s nearly impossible to find men’s step-in shoes, which I’ve been searching weeks for. I finally tracked down a pair at nearby shoe retailer that fulfilled my three requirements for shoe apparel nicely.
I arrived home with the good news (my wife knew the lengths I traveled in my search for my very own glass slipper…of sorts) and commended me for being brave in the face of possible hopelessness. Then I told her (and by told I mean “let slip”) that the store was having a Buy 1, Get 1 Half Off sale on all pairs of shoes.
She immediately asked, “Where’s the other pair?”
The conversation goes as follows:
Me: “I only bought this one.”
Her: “But it was a better deal to by another pair.”
Me: “No, it wasn’t a better deal. It was a better deal to buy the one pair for less money. One is less than one-and-a-half.” Her: “Don’t be sarcastic. The better deal is more for less for longer.”
Me: “What?”
Her: “Never mind. We’ll go back. I’ll buy three pairs, and you can have one of my half-priced pairs.”
Another editor’s note: Despite this column’s headline, Payless is not the shoe retailer mentioned in this column.
