Turning my back on Facebook…again

I’ve decided to quit Facebook (again).

I know I’ve said this before, and I know it sounds like breaking up with a significant other or quitting an addiction, and in many ways, it is.

Browsing Facebook, a website where cell phone camera self-portraits (otherwise known as selfies) and rambling opinions reign supreme, isn’t conducive to a productive lifestyle. It’s a place where good intentions about getting things done go to die.

This is not the first time I’ve tried to sever ties with the almighty social media platform. Last year, I made what I considered to be a bold move and deleted Facebook from my iPhone. How I was going to survive without hourly updates of cat videos and irrelevant status updates from old high school friends, I didn’t know. But I made the choice nonetheless. About a month later, I also gave up logging into Facebook on my computer for about six weeks, to prove I could go without it and to pursue a much-needed digital detox.

It was other people’s reactions that made me feel a little bit like a celebrity entering rehab. Like I was leaving the real world, going behind closed doors; “recovering.” Because I had alerted people to the fact that I would be “off the grid” for the next month and a half, I was littered with reactions and inquiries.

How are you doing? Friends and coworkers would ask. Have you logged back on yet?

My brother would joke, Did you see? Oh, that’s right, you’re not on Facebook.

Yet, I didn’t feel like the struggle was very real.

Their questions made me wonder if I wasn’t trying hard enough. Was I not as addicted to Facebook as I thought? Was it too easy of a challenge? Instead of feeling deprived, I felt like there was less of a weight on my shoulders. I had more room in my mind for myself because less of my mental energy was taken up by someone else’s vacation photos or political rants.

That’s not to say stepping away from Facebook didn’t require some adjustment. You do go through a brief period of denial. You start to wonder, in the words of Mindy Kaling, “Is everyone hanging out without me?”

I think the scariest part is that the first day I left Facebook, my fingers probably tried to type “f-a-c…” into my internet browser every time I opened a new tab, as if my hands were puppeteered by an unhappy social media deity. You will connect and share.

Truthfully, I think it’s more difficult to take a few hours away from social media, and then go back, than it is to disband altogether. I once read about a theory called the “fear of missing out.” This concept explains why we constantly feel the need to check our email, our Facebook accounts, our online news sources. We are anxious about what information or experiences that we’re “missing out on,” and this anxiety can only be cured by checking the websites or apps once again, much like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. It’s a vicious cycle.

But honestly, I’m not against social media. It’s great to stay in touch with friends who are in foreign countries and to talk to family that I don’t regularly see. I just need a break.

See you on Twitter.

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