Hello from the 1800s (or around there)

Every time Academy Awards season rolls around, I know the conversation is inevitable. I will casually mention to someone that I would enjoy watching the Oscars, and this is usually all it takes to trigger it. The discussion always goes a little something like this.

Person: Are you going to watch the Oscars tonight?

Me: No, I don’t have TV service.

Person: But it’s on the basic networks; of course you can watch it.

Me: No, I don’t have any TV service at all.

Person: That’s too bad. When are they fixing it?

Me: No, I don’t subscribe. I have a TV, but I only use it for watching DVDs.

At this point, the person usually looks at me like I just spoke another language, and quickly moves on, hoping to forget this frightening interaction until the end of their days.

But actually, I’m the one who feels like everyone else is speaking foreign words. My habit of not watching television is kind of like not speaking one of the main languages in America: English, Spanish, and Game of Thrones (insert your favorite series here).

(Disclaimer: when I say I don’t have or watch “TV,” it means I also don’t subscribe to streaming movies and shows, either. Sorry, Netflix.)

My lack of pop culture knowledge can pose a problem in a lot of conversations. The topic will drift to the latest episode or season finale, and I’m out of the loop. I can pick out words, but I’m nowhere near fluent.

By now, you’re probably picturing my childhood and life up to this point like a scene from A Little House on the Prairie, complete with a Conestoga wagon and a butter churn, but it wasn’t like that at all. I did grow up with TV, and as a kid I even watched a few shows regularly. (Rumor has it I also watched A Charlie Brown’s Christmas every morning at breakfast for an entire year at age three).

But I distinctly remember one day in high school when my mom asked my brother and me if we minded cutting out cable service. The three of us agreed that the only thing we’d miss was The Weather Channel (nerd alert), and that it wasn’t worth the cost. I have yet to feel any pang of regret. Living on my own, I found I still didn’t feel the need for TV.

I will concede that there have been a few occasions where having TV service would have been nice. I might have tuned into Olympic figure skating or caught some of the World Series. Every year I have secretly wanted to watch the Oscars (I don’t watch many movies but I like watching the Oscars…figure that one out). But those moments come and go. And for recaps, there’s always YouTube.

It’s not that I’m (completely) immune to relaxing. I have other ways to unwind. I walk, run, read, and paint. I spend too much time on Instagram. I might even be guilty of refreshing Google multiple times last night just to make sure Leo finally won an Oscar this year. I’m not necessarily making better use of my time.

But this is not something everyone understands, and usually, realization only partially hits.

“If you don’t watch TV,” my favorite part of the conversation concludes with a foreboding tone, “then what do you do?”

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