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X-MEN Apocalypse, you got that right

By Tom Sansom

XMenThis is the eighth in a series of films about the X-Men. The original was released in the year 2000, and every twelve to twenty four months another one comes out. The next one is scheduled for 2017. I admit I’d not seen any of them until now, although I’ve seen plenty of trailers and snippets on TV. So why now after all these years? I had to toss a coin to select a film for my column this week. There were only two new releases to select from last weekend, the X –Men and another re-hash of Alice in Wonderland. After deciding on the best of seven heads or tails, I ended up with the Mutants, and the Mad Hatter stormed out of the room; good riddance, I thought. I might have to re-think that one.

If you have no history with the X-Men, this is not a good film to start with. Perhaps some of the earlier versions were worth seeing, I’ll never find out. If you don’t know the X-Men are a group of “mutants,” humans born with extraordinary powers, who have to be schooled on how to use and control them. They generally band together to fight against whoever and whatever wants to destroy the world. The best known of this bunch is The Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman, who more often than not appears to be the leader. His power includes healing quickly after being shot, stabbed or whatever, and he has ten very sharp and indestructible knives which, when he wants, protrude from his hands like long fingernails, making him very dangerous when need be. His appearance in this episode was limited to less than sixty seconds, and after watching I can understand why he would not want to be part of it.

X-MEN Apocalypse

Entertainment Rating: Zero stars

Rating: PG-13, the usual superhero violence and destruction, two profanities.

Possible Oscar Nominations: None

Our story starts in 5000 B.C., in Egypt, and cascades into the 1980’s where most of the story takes place. The movie jumps from one unrelated scene to another leaving the un-educated (ones who haven’t seen the previous films) guessing as to who and what is going on. Slowly, far too slowly, a story line begins to develop, and by this time you will be ready to leave, which I would have done if I weren’t writing this column. Eventually we have half the mutants fighting the other half, the bad guy’s leader being from, you guessed it, Egypt (by now 7,000 years along). His enormous powers bring the good guys to their knees, until somehow one of the good guys (actually a woman mutant) steps up.

There are lots of special effects, which in this movie just didn’t make sense, especially since most of them come from the bodies of the mutants; just not my cup of tea. If you are a big X-Men fan, this one will not rank high on your list, too many unexplained phenomena to digest.

tsansom2002@gmail.com





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