If you have an android cellphone with Google Photos installed, you won’t believe your eyes at what you’re about to read.
But a word of caution: If you don’t want to spend the rest of the day diving deeper down a fun “I can’t stop myself” rabbit hole, then stop reading immediately. Turn the page. Bake a cake. Build a shed. Do anything else, because if you keep reading, you’re likely to blow most of the rest of your day having way too much fun.
Still with me? Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
OK, go get your cellphone and open up a photo of you or somebody else you know — as long as you remember being there when the picture was taken. I started with a snapshot I took of my son and three grandkids when they stopped by my house the other day.
Now, find the three vertical dots at the top right of your cell phone screen—the “menu,” or “more options” icon. (If you have an iPhone, these directions may not apply. In that case, go find an android friend. They’ll be easy to find if they’re reading this — just follow the laughter.)
After opening the three-dot menu, a box will open with a list of things you can do. Find the “create” tab and click on it…
(Or don’t. Last chance. If you do it, you’re about to dive down the rabbit hole of fun. Still here? Again, don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
If you clicked the “create” tab, another list will open. Click on “Remix.”
You should now see several ways to change your original photo in fun, goofy, and addicting ways — a pen sketch, oil or watercolor painting, or much, much more. The most fun ones are the “collectible figurine” or “fashion photo shoot” options. Save each new creation if you want to — it won’t eliminate the original photo.
Go ahead, start clicking. I’ll wait — even if it takes you an hour or two to break away from the fun. But be sure to come back, because we’ve only just begun.
Back so soon? OK, now massage those “it hurts to smile so much” muscles and let’s have some real fun.
Open the original photo again and start the process over— but this time after you click on “Create,” find the “Photo to Video” tab and click it.
A list of choices will appear beneath the photo. When I clicked on “I feel lucky” with the photo of my son and grandkids, the screen flipped and flopped for about a minute as the phone decided whatever change it wanted to make.
And when the original photo came back on the screen, it was now an action video. My smiling granddaughter Natalie flipped her long hair back over her shoulder…even though she didn’t do that in real life!
I remember. I was there. Real Natalie didn’t really do that.
But right there on my screen was Natalie flipping her hair and smiling for the photo, as real and undeniable as if it were happening right before my eyes. Which I swear she didn’t do. Even though you can clearly see that she did.
See what I mean about that rabbit hole?
But wait, there’s more.
I called up another snapshot — this one of Donna sitting in a recliner, her hand frozen in a wave at the camera. This time after I opened the “photo to video” tab I found a box that said: “Describe movements.”
Inside that box I typed an imaginary thing that never happened: “A dog climbs up into her lap.”
And after a minute or so of processing, that still photo of Donna with her hand frozen in a motionless wave turned into a 4-second action video of an adorable brown and white spaniel walking into the frame and climbing up onto her lap as she smiles and reaches out to welcome it. To make room for the dog, Donna’s waving hand reaches down to move some sheets of paper that rested on the arm of the chair. A soft exclamation of happy surprise comes from her mouth as she smiles down at the pooch snuggling into her lap.
Except that it never happened.
That adorable action scene right there in front of my eyes of a very real dog climbing up into a very real lap in a very real recliner — it never happened.
I swear it didn’t. I was there. I took the picture.
No dog like that has ever been in my house.
Except there it is, happening right before my very eyes. And what could be more proof-positive than watching something with your very own eyes? Even if you know positively that it never happened?
So if you called up a photo of a moment you clearly remember that happened right in front of you, and then created some other reality that is now unfolding right before your very eyes, you are now an eyewitness to history that never happened.
You have photographic proof that what wasn’t…was. Because history is now whatever you decide it was, thanks to that magic “alternate facts machine” in your pocket. And the next time you find yourself saying “My memory isn’t what it used to be,” you can say it in a whole new way.
You’re down the rabbit hole now. And who knows exactly how deep that rabbit hole goes? Maybe I’ll see you at the bottom—if that really is you that I’ll be seeing. Or, for that matter, if it is still really me seeing what may or may not really be you.
TR Kerth is the author of the book “Revenge of the Sardines.” Contact him at trkerth@yahoo.com.
