Our oldest son is getting married! He and his beautiful girlfriend announced to us earlier this month that they will be getting hitched in late October. We suspected they would tie the knot at some point, but for the past few years, they didn’t seem in any rush. This proved to be a challenge for my husband and me, Gen X-ers who were married at ages 21 and 22. More than a few times we’ve kicked each other under the table when one of us was about to ask, “So, are you two ever going to get married?”
“Stay cool,” we’d mouth to each other behind our water glasses. “Relax — It’s none of our business.”
But suddenly, it’s our business. Since their announcement, the happy couple asked us to host a backyard reception at our home after a simple courthouse ceremony.
It’s not surprising that, one week later, we were in the mood to watch the classic Steve Martin movie, “Father of the Bride.” We suddenly saw the film in a new light, as George Banks battled inner demons that pitted his penny-pinching self with his desire to create (and pay for) a beautiful, magical day for his child’s wedding.
Here we are, facing the same dilemma. Our son and his fiancée are practical and so are we, but on the other hand … this is a reason to celebrate!
Plans are still in the early stages, but I am already reaping the benefits. My husband, who I teasingly call “Marty Stewart,” (as in Martha Stewart’s male counterpart), has sprung into full turbo-husband mode preparing the house. He is weeding the garden. The power washer has been in heavy use, blasting grime off the deck, the exterior of our house, and all outdoor rugs and doormats. The windows are gleaming! We are already working out the logistics of where our guests will be, what we will serve them, where to put their coats, and what to do if the weather doesn’t cooperate. My Pinterest boards overfloweth.
Unlike the movie version, we will not be hiring a flamboyant wedding coordinator named Franck, nor will we be renting swans to tiptoe amongst the flowers.
At least, I don’t think we will.
But the urge to do right by our kid is strong, and we want the day to reflect the joy we feel about their new life together. The father of the groom is carefully mapping out how he will stake down the party tent, where he will find all his power strips for the ambient lighting and how he will jimmy-rig the door so the dog doesn’t escape when guests come inside.
The more I think about it, maybe we already have a wedding planner in Marty Stewart, a.k.a. my darling husband. He loves a good party, loves using his tools, and prides himself in figuring out creative solutions to challenges. In a way, he is training for the Father of the Groom Olympics, and he’s most likely going to earn a medal in every event.
I may even get a remodeled bathroom out of all this, and if that happens, well, even better.
In so many ways, our son and his fiancée are bucking traditional wedding customs, and I’m so here for it. While big lavish weddings are lovely for some, I know that they want to make their day special and unique — just like the life they are building together. The focus will be on being with family and friends, enjoying good music and tasty food, and celebrating love.
My sweet, sensitive husband will do everything in his power to make this a special event, because this is what he’s always done for our kids: setting the scene by building blanket forts, constructing a treehouse nestled in the pine trees of our backyard, filling water balloons for summer picnics, stringing lights over the deck, concocting hilarious games to make birthday party guests squeal with delight. As he watches his oldest child step into marriage, I can imagine that he will stand back proudly, clasping his hands and smiling at these incredible humans that have our whole hearts on a string. And he will insist that the moisture running down his cheeks is just kickback from the power washer.
