As has been the case since roughly February 2015, it’s an election year. But not just any election year! This is the most important election in the history of the country [since 2012, anyway], and the stakes will never be higher [until 2020]. It’s a showdown between the candidate who singlehandedly can save the country and the candidate who will lead us to levels of ruin not seen since [insert name of the last President you didn’t vote for] was in office, and everybody is talking about it.
