Will the wheels on the bus ever not go round and round?

So in other words, it means parenting.

The (sort of) Great American Read

There’s a Thanksgiving tradition that my family has never practiced but I’ve always liked and that is the sitting around the Thanksgiving table, and each person takes a turn saying one thing they’re thankful for. I’m sure for the families out there who practice this tradition, you hear things like “I’m thankful for my parents or spouse or friends or children or health.” (Or, in the case of my son, he’d probably say he’s thankful for milk. He loves milk. He drinks a gallon every two days, which may account for why he, at only two, is countertop height.)

If a pumpkin could talk, this is probably not what it would say, but it’s fun to think so

To find life, you have to face death. Okay, I’m being dramatic, but what can you expect from someone who recently had the top of his head cut open and his guts spooned out and cooked?

No, I’m not some vile science experiment (unless you call being worked on by a kid with a serrated knife science…uhhh, wait). What I am is a jack-o’-lantern. And my name is, you guessed it, Jack. You can save the grins. That’s my job. It’s my only job. To grin.

Are those abs under your shirt or ads?

During my senior-year high school art class, I would almost daily ask the teacher for the bathroom pass, but instead of heading to the bathroom, I’d pass them up and head straight for the cafeteria with a pocket full of money and several snack orders from other students. I’m not sure how I got elected to be the official third-period snack runner, but it became my job.

Given the event’s success, I thought it might be beneficial to address some of the topics with our readers in hopes to provide you with a better understanding of how we choose our editorial content, therefore allowing you increase your chances of having your material published in the Sun Day.

The health insurance blues, Part II

My son was born on November 15, 2016, but didn’t receive health coverage until December of 2017, only two weeks before qualifying for his 2018 insurance.

Here’s what happened.

In memoriam of the victims of the Parkland shooting

I’m going to be honest: I’m getting sick and tired of having to change the Sun Day’s masthead to memorialize another tragedy. Not that I don’t want to memorialize the victims of tragedy but that there’s a tragedy out there to begin with. I’m sick of it!

The Three Stooges, in other words, my son

I’ve come to realization that living with a one year old is like living with The Three Stooges. Just the other day, my son knocked over my coffee (sending the coffee onto my keyboard and under my monitor), slammed my fingers in a desk drawer, and poked me in the eye. He did this literally consecutively, one hit after the other.

The health insurance blues, Part I

If you’re anything like my father, what I’m about to say will put a chill into you: From the age of 22 to 37 my wife and I didn’t have health insurance. And although a risk, I can honestly say it was the best money never spent. Granted, those were the carefree days of young adulthood where health concerns were of little worry, but ever since getting health insurance three years ago, I’ve never been more scared in my life that something will go wrong. And this is not a case of superstition. I’m not worried that now that I have health insurance I’ll get sick.

I am worried, however, about dealing with health insurance.

Fair? Who wants fair at a carnival?

It was the late 80s. The guy wore a battered leather vest straight over tattooed skin that featured things I can’t repeat or describe here. On his feet were Converse sneakers that were maybe once white but were now nicotine yellow and fraying to bits, the famous Converse logo chipped away somewhere in the thousands of miles he walked. He squinted against a smoking cigarette tucked into the corner of his mouth. He had shaggy hair, a shaggy goatee, and a voice that sounded like rusted pipes grating together. With it he said things like, “My blind grandma has better aim than you.” He was working the ring toss at my church carnival, and this guy was my hero.

My oh my, the millennials…

The other day, I ended up in a curbside conference with my neighbor, and the topic of millennials, or The Millennials (always spoken with a downtrodden voice and a headshake), came up.

Putting socks on a baby and other surprisingly difficult tasks

I’ve come to realize that the middle of the day is the hardest part when it comes to parenting. And by “day” I mean a full twenty-four hours and by “middle” I mean those hours between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. when he’s awake. Those are the hardest. The other twelve, when he’s unconscious, are a breeze.

Okay, fine, I have a problem

When it comes to reading, I promise you I’m the strangest reader you’ll ever meet.

Honesty is always the best policy

Some of you may have noticed an important name missing from the list of people who work for the Sun Day on this page. That name is Carol Baffa, who recently retired from her position as an advertising representative after four years of service.

Laboring with Centegra

My son was born at the newly opened Centegra Hospital Huntley on November 15, 2016. In terms of labor and delivery, my wife’s was a breeze, delivering a healthy baby with a 9.9 apgar. Little did we know the true labor wouldn’t begin until after his birth.

I’ve had a professional media relationship with Centegra for almost ten years, either reporting on their various advancements/events (primarily their efforts to open a hospital in Huntley) or working with them on an advertising level, as they were once a Sun Day client (their advertising has since been ejected from the Sun Day). In that time, I’ve learned that Centegra is really good at marketing.

And they have an excellent rally cry.

After seven years, it’s time to get ‘funner’

You may have noticed something different about the Sun Day this edition. It has a new and refreshing look to celebrate its seventh anniversary! But like “new” and “refreshing” things, it’s actually, in many ways, a throwback to the Sun Day’s original design. Maybe not exactly a throwback to the original design but definitely a throwback to the original idea, which I’ve never put into effect.

A little powwow about political correctness

The other day, I was writing a sentence in which I used the term “Indian style” to describe a way someone sat. I haven’t used the term in years. Then a little voice inside my head said, Wait a minute, Chris. You may want to go online and check this out, because things have changed since you were a boy. ‘Indian style’ may be offensive nowadays.

Sometimes the movie is better than the book

When it comes to books and movies, most people (who read) generally agree the “book is better than the movie.” That’s because it’s amazingly difficult to trim an 80,000-110,000-word novel down to a 90-120-page screenplay without losing the story’s oomph. And while I generally subscribe to the idea that books are better than their big-screen adaptations, I’ve found it’s not always the case.

And this is why I don’t talk to strangers

Shortly before my son was born, it really sank in that my wife and I were going to be his primary role models for a number of years (and hopefully someone he bounces things off for the rest of our lives). The insight made me take stock of myself. I’ve done this before for numerous reasons, and it’s always an uncomfortable process, but unlike other times, I knew this time someone was going to be learning from me. Certain changes had to be made.

Being a father is its own kind of labor

If you’re an astute reader (I’m guessing most of you are), perhaps you noticed something strange about the cover of this edition of the Son Day. Oh, there it is again. Did you catch it?

Waiting for a baby to be born is a real drag … of time

If you tell me I have nine months to finish a task, my first response is, “Nine months? That’s it? How about nine years? Can I have that?”

Quotes from a first-time pregnant woman, Part II

The following are quotes from my wife, who is pregnant for the first time. The quotes are not labeled by week, but they do run in chronological order from just days after we found out she was pregnant to present day at 27 weeks along.

Quotes from a first-time pregnant woman, Part I

Nine months, the biggest conspiracy in history

What makes conspiracy theories so darn interesting is that there’s always a kernel of truth in them. Cases always make sense to a point, and then the math fails and things don’t add up, leaving everyone searching for that damning link that probably isn’t there.

I’ve come to learn that exactly how long a woman is pregnant is exactly like that. A good conspiracy theory. It keeps you guessing and counting. And nothing ever adds up.

I did it! I have finally achieved greatness!

For most people, it takes a lifetime to achieve greatness. Take my father, for instance. He didn’t achieve greatness until he was 76. My grandfather didn’t achieve it until he was 84. But I achieved it at only 36. In record time, in my opinion.

Leading the way through the road less traveled

I think one of the most dangerous vehicular situations you can find yourself driving in is a funeral procession.

They’re kind of like being part of a freight train, only without guard rails, dinging lights, and the threat of about a million tons of rolling iron to keep other drivers at bay.

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Chris La Pelusa