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MY SUN DAY NEWS

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November 20, 2014

Paul Shumate

Laughter by Paul: June 19, 2014

As fall approaches and summer vacation is over, a mother wakes up her son and says it’s the first day of school, so get up and get ready. He says, “Mom, I don’t want to go back. Please don’t make me. I hate school!”

Laughter by Paul: June 5, 2014

Ok everyone,” said the the instructor at the birthing class trying to get everyone’s attention. “We are going to do an exercise now, that’s purpose is to help the men sympathize with their partners.”

Laughter by Paul: May 8, 2014

Toby phones his mother on Mother’s Day. ‘Happy Mother’s Day! How are you?’ he asks.

Laughter By Paul 04/24/2014

A young grandson asked his grandfather how old he was, and the grandpa teasingly replied, “Well, I’m not exactly sure how old I am.”

Laughter By Paul 4/10/2014

As fall approaches and summer vacation is over, a mother wakes up her son and says it’s the first day of school, so get up ready. He says, “Mom, I don’t want to go back. Please don’t make me. I hate school!”

Laughter By Paul 3/27/2014

“OK everyone,” said the the instructor at the birthing class trying to get everyone’s attention. “We are going to do an exercise now, that’s purpose is to help the men sympathize with their partners.”

Laughter By Paul 03/13/14

On St. Patrick’s Day, two Irish mothers, Kate and Lorna, were talking about their sons.
Kate says, ‘My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.’

Laughter By Paul 2/27/2014

Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine,” said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.”
“For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80?

Laughter By Paul 2/13/2014

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

Laughter By Paul 1/30/14

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.

Laughter By Paul 1/16/2014

Judy had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the grocery store, she used the last of her personalized checks, bearing her old address.

Laughter By Paul 12/5/2013

It was Christmas, and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant.

Laughter By Paul 11/21/2013

Sarah, a dietitian, was addressing a large audience in New York.

Laughter By Paul 10/24/13

Four expectant fathers were in the hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins.”

Laughter By Paul 10/10/13

Bob and Joan were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party, everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.

Laughter By Paul 09/26/13

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

Laughter By Paul 9/12/13

Once upon a time in their mar­riage, my Dad did something really stupid. Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized and they made up. However, from time to time, my mom still mentions what he had done.

Laughter By Paul 08/29/13

At the end of the college year, a star football player, Josh, celebrated the lifting of the team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, Josh became captivated by a beautiful girl. He eased into the conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties.

Laughter By Paul 8/14/2013

A family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse to a brand new house in a subdivision in the same town.

Laughter By Paul – 7/3/13

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.

Laughter by Paul 8/1/2013

While leading a tour of kindergarten students through a hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an X-ray technician.

Laughter By Paul 06/20/13

Sam booked his 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada. He called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as he requested a wheelchair and an attendant for his mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness.

Laughter By Paul – 6/5/13

Sam booked his 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada. He called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as he requested a wheelchair and an attendant for his mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness.

Laughter By Paul 05/23/13

Two lawyers, Jon and Chuck, head out for their usual nine holes of golf. Jon offers Chuck a bet. “Let’s say we bet $50.”

Laughter By Paul – 05/09

A man and woman were recently celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. While cutting the cake, the wife was moved after seeing her husband’s eyes fill with tears.

Laughter By Paul – 4/25/13

A few years ago, Tom decided to visit a friend who was stationed in Germany.