Living in the (fun-sized) lap of luxury

Several Halloweens ago, I emptied a bag of candy into a bowl to distribute to trick-or-treaters. My young son, standing beside me, looked perplexed as he read the packaging containing the miniature candy bars.

“Fun size? Why do they call those fun size, mom? Those candy bars are just way smaller! What’s fun about smaller?”

Clowning around

Wedding anniversary celebrations have a tendency to change over a married couple’s life. Gone are the days of a romantic weekend getaway, followed by a candlelit dinner, and dancing till dawn. After 47 years of marital bliss, anniversaries consist of a trip to Wisconsin Dells to contribute to the Ho-Chunk Indian tribe, and seeing a matinee performance of Bello Nok at the Palace Theater.

Whoa, Yeoh!

As the dog days wind to a close, the season’s electricity still flits in the air. Last gasps of summer present themselves in the form of action films, attempts to keep an August sun shining. Strangely, one of my favorite action stars has a connection with two of them: Michelle Yeoh. Better known for working with Jackie Chan, she went on to be in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and recently, “Crazy, Rich Asians.” Here though, she plays supporting roles.

The ironic joys — and jolts — of letting the world pass you by

In early July my friend Carol and I headed down to Wilmington, Illinois, for the annual Catfish Festival held there. The Festival was scrapped last year (like everything else) because of the pandemic, but this summer it was back in full force, thanks to effective vaccines that most sensible Illinoisans have taken advantage of.

It was fun to see the Festival back in fine form — deep fried catfish and country-blues bands in the beer garden of the Rustic Inn, mud volleyball out behind the Route 66 Bar and Grill, carnival rides and booths in the North Island Park surrounded by the Kankakee River, flea market on Water Street, and more. It’s the kind of “redneck roundup” Carol and I both love, with laughter, lowbrow entertainment and cheap beer.

Backyard trends of 2021

Early in the pandemic my husband starting cutting our son, Christopher’s hair. It started out of necessity and grew into something that they both enjoyed. As Christopher was preparing to go back for his junior year in college, he decided that he wanted to try something different and go to a hair salon. He read multiple reviews and booked an appointment online with a master stylist. His new trendy look gave him the confidence needed to enjoy in person, on campus classes for the first time in 18 months.

Belly up to the bar

Nancy heard through the grapevine about a place that had excellent pizza. As it turned out, we’ve all passed by this establishment at one time or another. As you drive east on Route 20, in the middle of nowhere there’s a curve in the road. As you round the bend you will see a crooked post with a sign on it for the Outpost Tavern and Grill in Pingree Grove.

Honestly, the outside of this tavern was not very inviting. It resembled a place that could have been featured on Guy Fieri’s “Diner’s, Drive-Ins, and Dives” TV show. We parked Jim’s Mercedes amongst the pick-up trucks, looked at each other, mustarded up our courage, and sauntered in.

Our daughter took her two boys to San Francisco. Their spring trip had been canceled by Covid so now (July 4 weekend) seemed a good time to travel. Little did she know that many of the past restrictions, due to Covid, were still in place and counter to any differing news reports. They flew to SF and stayed the first two nights downtown. Yes, we all know a lot of SF is crazy but she wanted them to see the ‘real’ SF.

A hidden gem

We received an email from Nola telling us about a restaurant she stumbled upon and thought it was a gem. Being the ever-vigilant food critics that we are, we searched the website of the restaurant she recommended. The first item on the menu caught Jim’s eye. Putting our own concerns for our health aside (we will explain shortly), we hopped into the Mini-mobile and sped out, leaving Del Webb in the dust, and headed northwest to the Tavern on Clark in Rockford.

Sun shines on The White Lotus

Having worked in the book business for years, my livelihood has always depended on the guilty pleasure. A piece of fiction (although sometimes non-fiction), where outrageousness and drama are the key draws, really fly off the shelves. The intense salacious fury of it all overtakes readers. Like we all say, sex sells. Books (and film) like “50 Shades” and television shows like “Real Housewives” seem trashy and naughty. Sometimes more literary forms are available. A good beach read is nothing to scoff at. And there is nothing sandier than HBO’s latest craze.

A knight among kanves

We begin our tale with our hero: Sir Gawain. Dev Patel has become one of Britain’s finest actors over the past decade. After splashing onto the scene with the BBC show “Skins” and later the Oscar-winning “Slumdog Millionaire,” his boyish impetuosity and endless charm has all been leading here. In many ways, he was born to play this part of a young man destined for great things but unsure of himself in the process.

How to sow the seeds of change

My husband, Chris and I are contemplating downsizing. To him, a smaller house means less maintenance. For me, our home is like a favorite pair of jeans that is now two sizes too big. What was once occupied by our children and their friends, now consists of closed doors and empty hallways. Our children’s birthday parties were precisely timed fun filled parties that routinely included 30 elementary school children. Those were the days. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, they are past and it may be time to move on.

Don’t mess with seniors

Nancy’s purse can be compared to a black hole in outer space. What goes in, never comes out, and no one is really sure what’s inside of one. We wanted to go out for lunch but our finances were running low. Nancy said she knew she had gift cards somewhere, so she asked me to check her purse while she was rummaging through the kitchen junk drawer. I ventured forth, and boldly went where no man has gone before, his wife’s purse.

Ask an Angel: August 12, 2021

I’m an older adult woman who is having increasingly more bouts of incontinence. I find it rather embarrassing, to the point of declining social invitations. I never know when the urge to go will hit me, so I prefer to stay home near my bathroom. I’ve had to rely more on my children for groceries and other necessities, as I’m afraid I might have an accident while shopping. I understand that incontinence is common in older women, yet I’m tired of this issue interfering with my life.

The saga of a star-steered morning

While skimming through the newspaper this morning, I happened to glance at my horoscope, which read: “Focus on practicalities. Chop wood and carry water. Maintain positive cash flow. Minimize waste. Conserve resources and energy.”

“Hm-m-m,” I said, because as luck would have it, I had chopped wood and carried water just a few minutes earlier on my way out to get the paper off the drive. (Well, I carried a watering can and sprinkled that pumpkin vine at the back of the yard, and I broke up a fallen branch lying on the lawn, so… yeah, close enough.)

La-dee-da it’s Lalo’s

Jim and I have a long list of perspective restaurants to review, or so we thought. We have learned to always “Google” the restaurant before we show up to make sure they haven’t fallen victim to the COVID-19 fallout. To our dismay, we discovered that restaurant after restaurant was either permanently closed, or only open a very limited number of hours/days.

When “Groundhog Day” comes home to roost

I was watching a Cubs game the other day, a slow-moving duel between two ace pitchers, and while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

E.T.A. at “EPH”

Nancy and I are in our so called “Golden Years” of retirement. Our kids have grown up and left the nest years ago. It’s just the two of us now in our little home in Del Webb. Old habits die hard. Nancy uses the same recipes to feed the two of us that she used to feed four to six people. Everyone knows change is evil and recipes cannot and must not be altered. This is why she asked me to take a run with her to Sam’s Club to stock up on ginormous containers of just about everything.

Extremely “Loki”

To paraphrase Friedrich Nietzsche, art is dead and we have killed it. Ok, so I may be exaggerating a bit. However, the entertainment industry has always been a struggle between art and commerce. A lead weight, however, has been placed down on the commerce side of the scale recently. After being without a year of Marvel movies, a void had been created in the interim. So, when it was announced that Disney+ had new programs and “Black Widow” would be released in theaters, optimism set in. Here is the halfway point of the year and that feeling is running low.

Pesticide precautions

In late May my husband, Chris, spent hours potting up 15 tomatoes in 18” wide containers. He set them around the edge of our patio and began to dutifully care for the plants. By early June, I noticed that the leaves on our tomatoes looked different. Upon further inspection, I noticed that the plants were growing in a curly cue fashion and the leaves were disfigured. Unfortunately, I had seen this before and suspected that the plants were suffering from herbicide drift.

Ask an Angel: July 15, 2021

My siblings and I are planning a mini-family reunion this Independence Day. Two of my siblings have not seen our aging parents since the onset of the COVID pandemic, as they live out—of-state and couldn’t safely travel. Now that we’re all fully vaccinated, we cannot wait to see each other in-person. We’re hoping to surprise our parents too. However, our parents are getting older and seem to get tired more quickly these days. As much as they love to see us and their nine grandchildren, I know the noise and energy can be draining.

Getting used to this whole ‘normal’ thing

A pandemic can do horrible things to you — even if, blessedly, it passes you by.

I fall into that category. Although I was able to stay virus-free long enough to get the vaccine and become bullet-proof, the pandemic did horrible things to me.

From lows to ‘Heights’

To be honest, not much on the summer movie roster stirs interest in me. Scrolling down IMDb, the usual pops out as standard fare. In regards to quality, 2021’s theme is almost like that of the late 90s. “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard,” “Jungle Cruise,” “Snake Eyes,” “The Suicide Squad”; all of these are big and dumb. Even in last year’s dearth of Marvel, “Black Widow” has even waned. Given the way “Loki” is going, the MCU is a bit lackluster. One film though has been on my horizon since the beginning: “In the Heights.”

All Aboar… Wait , not so fast

With the coronavirus starting to be corralled, vacation travel is beginning to pick up. Now the big question, with answers changing daily: masks or not? Plus, not everything is back to normal as we write; cruise ships are still shut down from US ports, Canada and Mexico borders are closed for visitors and with the tension in the Middle East, well, you might not want to travel there anytime soon. India is in the midst of a major coronavirus situation, so avoid it also. New variants appear to be cropping up daily, so should you travel? If vaccinated, I say “yes,” but with caution.

A full-service garage

You may recall in a previous article Nancy alluded to the nightmare she was having getting the bocce ball club up and running. Her work was finally finished, and she was looking forward to the first game of play. Mother Nature cooperated perfectly, it was 90 degrees, with 80 percent humidity. The sun was hot and so were some tempers. Twenty minutes into the first game Nancy got into a rather heated discussion with a man on the opposing team. Taking a tip from hockey players, I just let them go at it. They’ll tire out eventually.

Confessions of a later-in-life Peeping Tom

Look, it’s a curse carrying around a name like “Tom” all your life, having to endure childhood taunts like “Peeping Tom” from early school classmates. Because I was not then, nor have ever been, a Peeping Tom.

Well, at least not until recently, thanks to that video camera I recently bought, so well-camouflaged that those who are being peeped-upon don’t have a clue that I’m watching them.

I’ll get to that, but first a bit of background.

Not so eggceptional

Jim had a lot of recording sessions at the radio station one day, so we decided it would be a good idea to have a big breakfast. While trying to decide where to go, we remembered driving down Algonquin Road and seeing signs for a new brunch restaurant. Great.

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