Perfection only makes oddity more appealing

I was eating Pringles the other day for the first time in a thousand years, and I wondered: “How do they get them all to look like this, each of them perfectly nestled, each with the gentle swoop of a Panama hat brim without the crown?”

I have no idea why that can of Pringles ended up on my snack tray, because I never eat junk like that. I’m more of a health-food nut — Fritos or Cheetos. Never Pringles.

Chef moron to the rescue

In keeping with the CDC Covid-19 guidelines, please “social distance” yourself six feet from our photo!!!

Finding comfort in entertainment nostalgia

So if you are anything like me, this has not been the easiest of times in terms of entertainment. A filmgoer like myself wants that larger than life experience that the theater offers. However, due to the threat that shall not be named, we are in this situation. But to paraphrase Jane Austen, we are always in the pursuit of a new film or show to watch. And the home theatre will have to do.

Ask the Woodchucks: April 9, 2020

What can I use to clean the inside wall of a gas fireplace?

Call me old-fashioned, but I think it would kill the mood if I was a young guy on a hot date that started getting pretty steamy, but before any garments hit the floor I had to run to my filing cabinet to pull out another “copulation consent form” for my panting partner to sign.

The MOD Squad

This is a very stressful time for everyone, due to the Corona Virus outbreak. Nancy even stopped drinking Corona beer!!! Our editor, Chris LaPelusa, gave us the option of suspending our column or reviewing take-out/delivery. We feel we have an obligation to our loyal readers, so as the saying goes, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead,” but don’t spare the hand sanitizer.

Rome-ing Italy and Greece, part 2

A friend of mine (Janie) and her husband (Bill) live in Seattle. They enjoyed a 3-week vacation in Italy and Greece and agreed to share their adventure. This is Part 2 of that journey with their next stop on their cruise from Greece to Turkey.

Ask the Woodchucks: March 26, 2020

What can I use to clean the inside wall of a gas fireplace?

Welcome to the world of “wonderful wonderments”

I don’t go to Hobby Lobby very often, but I did this week—twice.

The first time was a few days ago, when I picked up a few gadgets for my friend’s grandson, who had recently undergone serious spinal surgery in Chicago. Vincent will be spending a lot of time healing flat on his back, so I wanted to give him some things to take his mind off the boredom.

Put some spring in your step

When Chris, my husband, and I first started dating I had the opportunity to not only get to know him, but also his parents. I received a front row seat to a lifestyle that was completely unfamiliar to me.

Ask the Woodchucks: Garbage disposal tips

Your garbage disposal will grind up and pass down your drain most of the food waste you put into it, but there are a few items that should never go into it. Egg shells can cause a blockage in the disposal and in the drain. Never put them into your disposal. Celery has tough fiber strands that can wrap around the moving parts of the disposal and make it malfunction.

HEEEEERE’S FRANCESCA’S

Things have been “interesting” around the Dining Duo household recently. It is a fun filled “perfect storm”, and we do mean storm. We’re just coming out of the winter doldrums, the weather is not warm enough to venture outside, and Nancy is starting to run out of “happy pills” after her surgery. I have to don an apron and attempt to cook, clean, and do laundry while Nancy turns into a contortionist twice a day with her legs flailing in the air as she does her rehab exercises.

Rome-ing Italy and Greece

A friend of mine (Janie) and her husband (Bill) live in Seattle. They enjoyed a 3-week vacation in Italy and Greece and agreed to share their adventure. I initially thought – 3 weeks – that’s a long time, but the more I thought about it and remember the time I had spent there, a month in each country wouldn’t be enough. Enjoy.

“The Invisible Man” – Not seeing is believing

So it is a new decade of film we are entering. How auspicious this moment is. Not that the major studios really expect usher it in with grand statements of purpose. And why should they? Shallowness and making money is the name of the game.

Ask an Angel: March 12, 2020

I’m a senior who was recently targeted by a scammer. I answered a phone call and was greeted by a young gentleman’s voice. He proceeded to tell me that a warrant was out for my arrest because I neglected to show up for jury duty that day. He sounded legitimate and alarmed me for a moment. I panicked while he began to tell me the consequences for not appearing for my jury summons and asked me to confirm my social security number so he could begin processing my arrest.

In praise of a deity that really delivers

It must have been rough for those ancient Greeks when they really, really needed something, and they had to turn to their gods for divine intervention in order to get it. After all, those ancient Greeks had so many deities cavorting around Mount Olympus, they made summit day at Mount Everest look like a lonely day in the park.

5,070 calories and counting

We were wracking our brains trying to come up with a restaurant to review in the Schaumburg area since we were going there to do some shopping. The light bulb over our heads went on when suddenly we remembered a restaurant that has been around forever, and we have not been to in ages. We are referring to the mother of all calorie bombs, the restaurant with a menu to end all menus, and the ever popular, long forgotten Cheesecake Factory in Schaumburg.

Ask the Woodchucks: February 27, 2020

Our Corian countertops have gotten a few scratches over the years. Can these be fixed or is it a very expensive process?

“The Two Popes” – A filmmaker’s indulgences

There is nothing more insufferable than a filmmaker who doesn’t allow their movie to breathe, to let us come to certain conclusions naturally. A director inserting themselves into their film, not literally but through their style, is the biggest crime that they can do for their audience. Mostly this is said of flashier action films and big-budget blockbusters the likes of Michael Bay and J.J. Abrams. But sadly this can also be found in smaller art-house films; the works of Lars von Trier and Gaspar Noe come to mind. This same can be said of Fernando Meirelles and his latest for Netflix.

Ask an Angel: February 27, 2020

I’m an elderly senior who lives alone. I have two daughters who live nearby and pop in as often as they can. However, I recognize that they have their own lives and I don’t want to be a burden to them. I have a few prescriptions that I take, as well as a few vitamins and supplements that my friends have recommended. I’m struggling with managing my medications.

A memory of a hunt when the birds evened the odds

As January eases into February and the days inch longer into night, I sit with a drink in my hand and remember winters (and loved ones) past, and last night a winter memory of Dad brought a smile to my face.

Sri Lanka, August 2019: An incredible journey

In this age of “instant” communication, one never knows when or where a new relationship will develop. Some will remain like “pen pals,” (remember those?) but others can grow and form relationships that become very special. This travel story was a result of such a relationship.

Chicagoland is a hub for human trafficking

You think you know how simple it is to make a choice. You pick the chocolate chip cookie over the oatmeal cookie or you choose to watch one television show over another. Life is full of choices and it seems so simple. However, what appears as “choice” may actually be a form of force or coercion and now you know this article is not about your favorite cookie or TV show.

Ask the Woodchucks: February 13, 2020

I have heard I should drain my water heater to extend its life. How often should I drain my water heater?

Marriage Story — not a love story

I have always been a sucker for a good love story, no matter the kind. First, last, found, unrequited; it is like candy to a five year old for me. But it so hard to get love right in film.

An old republic

Nancy is scheduled to go “under the saw” and have her knee replaced, and as a result, things are very busy around the Dining Duo household. I am stocking up on leftovers and trying to bulk up to survive her recuperation period. After all, it’s all about me…

Ask an Angel: February 13, 2020

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I find myself more and more down and gloomy. I knew this holiday would be difficult since losing my spouse, but I hadn’t realized just how challenging it will be for me to get through this day. Do you have any suggestions for how I can face this day without the love of my life?

The bank has all your dollars, but lacks your common cents

I am glad we no longer have debtor’s prisons as England did during Charles Dickens’s day, because my friend Carol might be sent to the slammer because of that huge debt she owes to her insurance company.

Her finances are tidy and orderly — or at least she thought they were. She bundles her mortgage, property tax and home insurance into an escrow account, and when they all come due, the bank writes a check. Done and done.

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