Q. I lost my husband six months ago, and I feel lost and detached from life. My friends invite me to do things, but I don’t have any interest in participating in anything. I am busy with my children, but am so empty inside. How can I move on without bringing those around me down?
A. The loss of your husband has created brokenness in you and it is clear in your question that you miss him dearly. You are grieving and I wonder if you have given yourself permission to clear out some space in your life to pay attention to the loss you are experiencing. It sounds like you haven’t. It also sounds like you dove right into a busy lifestyle and I am going to recommend that you take a step back to see if there are things you can do that will bring comfort to your hurting heart. If you have a group in your community that addresses those who are grieving, I suggest you consider exploring attending a few sessions. You’ll be amazed at the love and understanding you can receive at such gatherings. If this doesn’t sound like a right fit for you, your local church may have a grief support group that may be a good fit. Sometimes reaching out to your local hospital chaplain is a great place to start. The hospital chaplains have resources that can help you walk through your loss. Other ways to gain comfort is to pay attention to the things that bring you joy and fill you up. Do you love music, art, or books? Take in an activity that involves these things. You might want to go it alone, or bring a trusted friend along. We are all here on the journey together. We’re not meant to do it alone. Doing life minute by minute, minus any high expectations on yourself, will be the most important first step you can take.
