Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Arlene Petersen, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. My wife has been diagnosed with cancer and I am devastated. We both are. My worry is that she does everything at home. The cooking, cleaning, etc. Where do I start?
A. Life will be different as she battles this disease. Your most valuable contribution will be your attitude. Your attitude will not only help her, but will help you as well. You will be her caregiver, her support, and her friend. It is important you remember to be her husband as well, loving her through it all. Your role as a caregiver will be filled with emotions that you may not be accustomed to. You will experience fatigue and frustration at times. In addition to a good attitude, it is important to have a strong support system. If you are fortunate to have family nearby, enlist their help. Many couples who undergo difficult health issues donāt want to ābotherā their children. Welcome the help of your family. It can be a great blessing to both of you. If family isnāt nearby, consider a professional caregiver. A caregiver can help with those daily activities your wife takes care of, such as cooking, light housekeeping and laundry assistance. These chores may seem manageable at first, but may become overwhelming. Putting the āI can do it allā mentality will be key to maintaining your own sense of wellbeing. Finally, make time for yourself. Itās the old analogy of putting the air mask on yourself first so you can take care of your loved one. One way to take care of yourself is with respite care. This can be a lifesaver for yourself, and can come from friends, family, or professionals. Senior Services is a good resource for professional recommendations. Reach out to social groups you belong to or your local church. You will not be on this journey alone if you reach out to a host of good resources available to you.
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to apetersen@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
