Our Ask An Angel correspondent is Re Kielar, Life Care Navigation Specialist in the area of senior home care.
Q. A caregiver helps my mother once a week. She assists mom with showering, and recently mom has begun refusing her showers. I am wondering what has happened and if this is normal. What can we do to get her back on track?
A. Fear of showering is very common for many seniors. Showering can cause a great deal of discomfort, and often we donât understand why. It is important to investigate what is behind your momâs recent shift concerning her shower routine. Be sensitive during this process! If her caregiver has been a part of the process for a long time, begin by asking if any changes have occurred during bathing times. Has your mom fallen or lost balance in the shower? Is the water temperature too hot or too cold? Older adults get cold easily, so being in a shower can cause them to be very uncomfortable. Keep in mind that as we age, our skin becomes thinner, and water pressure can cause discomfort or pain. On a different note, your mom may be exerting her need to control and has started digging her heels in by refusing to cooperate. You didnât mention any specific dementia conditions, but fear of the shower accompanies dementia and can be magnified without our understanding. Using a bench in the shower might alleviate some of that fear, especially if you discover she is afraid of falling. Consider communicating that the shower time is a pampering time or spa time. If it can be matched up with a âspecialâ lunch, dinner or âreward.â It will be a gentle way to persuade your mom that getting spruced up is part of the day. So, while refusing to shower is not uncommon, your part is to be observant and sensitive. Take time to be encouraging when your mom has success. Work with the caregiver and remember, positive reinforcement goes a long way! All this is important to ensure a relaxing and healthy environment, filled with dignity and joy.
Have a question for our angel correspondent? You can send our angel an email to rkielar@visitingangels.com or send your question via mail to Ask An Angel, 65 Woodbury St., South Elgin, IL 60177.
