Q. My elderly mother-in-law lives in an apartment complex specifically for seniors. Her apartment is furnished with a full-sized kitchen. My mother-in-law used to enjoy cooking, but her age is slowing her down. I’m concerned about her because she seems disinterested in cooking and is losing weight. When I casually ask her about what she had for dinner, she says she doesn’t have much of an appetite or the will to cook for herself. Her apartment is a twenty-minute drive from our home, and I take care of the grocery shopping for her. Do you have any meal preparation tips that can help an unmotivated single senior?
A. Cooking and eating for one is a challenge, regardless of your age. For many, it only highlights their aloneness. Others just don’t see the value in cooking for themselves, thinking it’s a lot of effort to go to for just one person.
However, with proper planning, cooking for one can be very rewarding. You mentioned that your mother-in-law used to enjoy cooking. This means she already possesses the skills needed to cook. Now that she’s single, she needs to adjust her portion sizes to make meal preparation easier.
Start by asking her to write down all her favorite recipes. You can do this together and use the opportunity to reminisce. Separate meals by season, so she has a list to work from year-round.
Next, look at her recipes and modify quantities so that they reflect smaller serving amounts. It’s best if the recipe makes around four servings. Your mother-in-law can plan to eat two servings and freeze two servings for another time. This approach makes the most of her cooking efforts. She can cook one evening, reheat a meal the following evening, and so on. She may even get to a point where she only cooks twice a week as her freezer stash grows.
Another tip is to help her with meal preparation. Hardy vegetables can be chopped and refrigerated in advance. Spices can be measured and labeled in baggies. Casserole dishes can be completely assembled and frozen. As summer winds down, you can help her prepare crockpot freeze meals. You can find specific crockpot freezer recipes and instructions on the internet. Remember to label each item or dish, including how to reheat.
If you don’t have time to help, purchase groceries that are mostly ready to eat. Most produce can be purchased pre-sliced, eliminating the need for your mother-in-law to dice them herself. Choose quick prep options, such as microwaveable rice packs or instant potatoes. Frozen fruit and vegetable are great options too. Purchase a few microwaveable meals that she can have on hand as she’s building her freezer stash.
One of my favorite tips is to always show up with a prepared meal. As you cook for yourself and your family, place a portion in a Tupperware container, so it’s ready to go. When you drop off groceries or stop by to visit, hand her the meal.
Finally, if your mother-in-law continues to lose weight, schedule an appointment with her doctor. There may be underlying conditions causing her low appetite or lack of interest in cooking, including memory loss. She could also be suffering from depression. Only a doctor can diagnose and treat these conditions.
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