Q. I’m a veteran of the Korean War. I live with my wife of over 65 years. We are fortunate to have family nearby to support us. Yet, I still struggle with feeling lonely. My wife has early stages of memory loss. I try to be patient with her, but I’m finding that I spend more of my time supporting her than conversing with her. I miss the woman I fell in love with, her humor and her wit. I used to have breakfast once a week with a small group of men, dear friends who were all old like myself. However, that group has diminished over the years due to moves and losses. COVID then put a permanent end to our time together. Although we do have family nearby, we choose to visit briefly to protect our own health. Many of our families have young ones in school, and I want to be cautious about germs. As we head into fall and soon after winter, I’m worried about how I’ll spend my days. Do you have any tips for a lonely senior?
A. First, I want to thank you for your service. As Veteran Day approaches, I hope you feel honored and respected for each sacrifice you made on behalf of our country.
My heart aches for you. Growing older is a privilege, but one that certainly does not come without some pain. It’s natural for loneliness to creep in as you age. Yet, it’s also important that you take steps to prevent it from overtaking your life. Lonely adults have a greater risk for mental and physical decline than those who are more social. With a bit of planning and some initiative on your part, you can overcome feelings of loneliness. Here are a few tips to help you combat the loneliness you are experiencing.
Stay connected to family and friends. As the weather permits, visit with your family outdoors. Make your patio a warm, inviting place by purchasing a fire pit or a patio heater. Bundle up and sip on hot cocoa or coffee to keep warm. You can keep the visits short but be intentional about visiting more frequently with family. Utilize technology to visit virtually with family and friends that live far away. If you’re feeling burnt out with video calls, limit them to once a week or twice a month instead of giving up on them altogether. Social interactions with family and friends are critical to combating loneliness.
Look for ways to add more purpose to your life. Seek out volunteer opportunities that you are comfortable with and set a start date. Some volunteer work can be completed in the comfort of your own home if leaving home is a barrier right now. Find ways to use your skills and share your knowledge within your community. Having a reason to get up in the morning helps loneliness fade away.
Lastly, join a group or club that shares similar interests. This is a great way to meet new people and form new friendships. Look for opportunities to connect with other older adults at your church, local library, VA office, or senior center. If you’re not comfortable with in-person, look for events that offer a virtual option.
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