Q. After having to postpone their summer wedding, my grandson and fiancé have decided to have an intimate wedding this fall. While they are keeping the wedding party and guest list small, I still have reservations about attending. I’m in my late 70s and am relatively healthy, aside from suffering from seasonal allergies. My husband on the other hand suffers from chronic bronchitis. He’s 84 and has been extremely careful since the pandemic outbreak. I know our presence would mean the world to our grandson and his future bride. Do you have any advice for us?
A. It’s lovely to hear that weddings are resuming amidst the global pandemic. While this pandemic has certainly put a stop to traditionally larger gatherings, there is something to be said for more intimate ceremonies.
Regarding your presence at the actual wedding ceremony, I highly recommend that you have a conversation with your doctor about this matter. You need to know your risks for COVID-19 and what that means combined with seasonal allergies and chronic bronchitis. Even if it will be a small gathering, the virus is unpredictable and there are risks that you need to consider.
That said, there are a few ways you can still be present on your grandson’s wedding day, even if you can’t be there in person.
See if the wedding ceremony can be live-streamed, so that you can attend virtually from the safety of your own home. If you’re not tech-savvy, ask for help. Be sure to dress for the occasion and if possible, take a few photos to send to your grandson.
If the ceremony can’t be live-streamed, ask for it to be recorded. At a later date, watch the ceremony with the newlyweds and treat them to a nice dinner.
Consider prerecording a blessing or reading that can be played during the actual ceremony. Another idea is to record your words of wisdom about marriage that can be played at the reception or rehearsal dinner. Share what you’ve learned over the years or advice that could save the newlyweds from unnecessary conflict.
Send a special gift to your grandson on his wedding day, such as a new watch or sentimental heirloom. Ask the best man or his parents to give it to him as he’s getting ready for the ceremony. Also consider sending something special to the bride as well, welcoming her into the family. Don’t forget to include a handwritten note.
Finally, if the venue is nearby, consider stopping by to take a few photos with your grandson and his bride. You could make this a surprise and wouldn’t necessarily need to get out of the car. If you aren’t watching the ceremony live, time your arrival so you greet the new couple just as they’re coming out of the venue as Mr. and Mrs. If you plan to watch the ceremony live, stop by the reception to say congratulations (and take home a piece of cake!)
While it might not be the ideal way to attend your grandson’s wedding, I’m sure that knowing you cared enough to make an effort within your comfort zone would mean a lot to your grandson on his special day.
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