Rabbitat for humanity
If it wasn’t for that well-meaning couple from Sun City, I wouldn’t be stuck in this pickle. Victor and Belle were obviously not graduates of MIT but they THOUGHT they were. It was their hope to rid themselves of me and my family without destroying us completely. Their engineering skills to accomplish this resulted in a day I would never forget.
I awoke to a beautiful, sunny morning, greeted my wife, Flopsy and our many children (called “kittens” in rabbitese). There they were, all lined up waiting for me to give them their territorial assignments for the day. There was Brer, Peter Jr., Roger, Beatrix, Harvey, Thumper, Elmer, Velveteen, Bugs, Bunnyjamin and Emmajizer. Flopsy and I have been together for less than a year, but mother rabbits give birth to four to nine kits at a time every four to five months. “Ain’t it terrific to be prolific,” I always say!
I am very proud of my family. Many people think we are rodents. We are not rodents. We are mammals of the Leporidae species known as cottontails. We travel the same trail daily, which loops around in a wide circle leading us to our Sun City smorgasbord of vegetables, flowers, plants and bushes.
I love Sun City. The retired folks who live here actually entertain the rabbit community. Since our ears are tall, we pick up many of their conversations. They talk about politics, strange sounding words like “bunco” and “bocce,” and their thoughts on romance make even rabbits blush.
Being a rabbit in Sun City is not without risk. When I nibble on a perfect, bright red tomato, I know I am making someone very angry. So much so that my life is in imminent danger. I have survived traps, eaten cat litter, poison granules, and liquid fence. Some Sun City citizens actually think a plastic owl will keep us out of their gardens. “DUH!”
Victor and Belle had a garden more lush and tasty than any other. They even had cabbage plants! Their garden was always the first visit of the day. I had a special affection for them; they never tried any repellent to wipe out my existence. They loved nature and lived by that code.
Through my tall ears, just yesterday I heard them discussing that Victor had a plan. He felt they cannot continue to deprive themselves of so many of the vegetables they worked so hard planting. This plan had to do with creating a wooden structure covered with two-sided tape which came from a duck. It would be harmless yet motivate me never to visit them again. Victor told Belle he was working on this for weeks and was ready to place the structure in strategic places right now.
When I arrived at this luscious garden, I leaped happily into it and discovered I could not leap out of it. I was tangled in this gray stuff that resembled a flat, fat snake. I could not nibble, move, or twist my body in any way. I thought I would never see Flopsy or my kittens again.
“And that’s how I ended up duct-taped to my ‘garden of eatin’’ and that’s why I did what I did when I did it.”